Divorce Does Not Define You
It was not supposed to be you.
On your wedding day, you believed your marriage would be different. It would be forever because you and your partner loved each other and could work things out when times got hard.
But now, here you are, feeling like you failed.
You wonder what other people will think. Will you lose all your friends because he was friends with them, too? What about the kids? You didn’t have kids, only to have them half the time.
You didn’t prepare for it because you were sure this would never happen to you. What will the next phase of your life look like? Will you ever be happy again?
You feel guilt, shame, and fear.
It doesn’t matter if the divorce was your decision or your partner’s; it feels awful. You feel like you are disappointing everyone, including your family, your partner’s family, your kids, your friends, etc. This makes you wonder whether you should have tried harder, pushed more, or gotten a different couple’s therapist.
Sleep is difficult because you keep reliving conversations and fights. You stay up wondering,“What could I have done differently? Where did things go wrong? Will I be able to afford to live on my own?”
How will your ex treat you when you must reach a “deal” with each other? But mostly you worry about the kids. How are you going to co-parent with your ex?
Even once the kids are out of the house, divorce still impacts the kids, and that was unexpected because you stayed until they went to college.
Divorce does not define you.
It may not be easy to imagine yourself being happy again, but you will be.
I will not lie; divorce is difficult. But it is not the end of your road; it is the beginning of a new chapter.
With over 20+ years of experience, I have worked with many people navigating their lives after deciding to get a divorce.
Your attorney will help you navigate the legal process. I will help you with your emotional and mental health recovery during and after the divorce proceedings, allowing you to feel confident and get back on your feet quickly.
Therapy can help.
Everyone’s experiences during this difficult time differ, so I do not have a one-size-fits-all approach. During the first phase of therapy, we will unpack and dive deep into your current life and struggles.
From there, we will work together to develop a treatment plan that addresses all your needs and gives you the emotional support you need. Some people feel very isolated and lost. If communicating with your ex may be difficult, we will work to find strategies to make it easier.
Sometimes, there is trauma from being in a bad or unhealthy marriage, which may cause some emotional instability.
We will address trauma through EMDR or bilateral stimulation and help you develop coping skills to manage any triggers.
What about future relationships?
After a divorce, sometimes people worry about getting into another relationship. They may fear another bad situation. We can work on identifying red flags and help you know what qualities make a good partner.
It is common to take some time to look at any mistakes you may have made during the marriage so you can grow, heal, and learn better ways to navigate relationships.
Ultimately, you can expect to feel a sense of confidence and mastery over your life. The traumatic events will feel like distant memories. You will have strong communication skills to manage conflict, confrontations, and uncomfortable situations.
Confidence and self-awareness will be your new normal.
New doors are ready to be opened.
I look forward to working with you and helping you get on with your life.
Reach out for a free consultation, and let’s get you on the path to your new life and the new you.