One of the biggest life transitions is from being single or dating to either living with someone or marriage. This can be fun and exciting but there is often anxiety, turmoil and sometimes depression with it as well. While dating, there are no fights about who takes out the trash, who does the dishes, who left shoes out…again. When we move from dating into living with someone, the relationship changes whether we are prepared for it or not. There are a high percentage of marriages that report symptoms of depression in the first few years. The move from single to couple affects many different aspects of life that sometimes take people by surprise.
Friends can often be a contentious issue. Single friends may not want to hang out with a couple or perhaps one person in the couple does not like the other’s friends. I have seen early relationships end over challenges with friends. I hear about men not liking their wife/partners best friend or vise versa. Part of the problem may be jealousy or the best friend brings out a side of a person that the partner does not care for.
Then children complicate marriages even further. Generally just when the couple becomes comfortable with married life, a baby throws that routine completely off. It is not uncommon for women to feel some depression during the pregnancy anticipating the change, even though they want the baby very much. After the arrival of the baby, post postpartum is far more common than is reported. I see many women who feel they are supposed to be happy because they have a healthy baby yet they cannot shake the baby blues.
Men also struggle with the baby blues. Their wife is now consumed with the baby and sleep has become a luxury. The focus shifts from the couple to the baby and it is very easy for couples to feel overwhelmed..
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Dr. Sara Denman, Lic #Psy 19808
